Let's Talk with Nancy J. Cohen
A Time of Change
March 3, 2022
These last two months have been tumultuous ones for myself and my husband. Richard fell and hit his head on Christmas Eve. Life since then has been turned upside down. Now we are no longer able to do the things we enjoyed while he recovers from his injury. We’d only moved into this house to be near our children a little over one year ago. Our plans for fun things to do, dining out, and family gatherings are on hold.
With my focus centered on my husband’s recovery, I am unable to think creatively let alone care about writing. How do you get back your mojo under such stressful circumstances?
I don’t have any answers yet. The least I can do is be helpful to my fellow authors in the meantime and maintain my online duties.
Change is inevitable, and it has arrived on our doorstep. One can only hope tomorrow brings a better future
Change has also come to Booklover’s Bench with a makeover to our website. Are you liking the new look? What do you think of the cover for the newly released Vol. 5 of the Bad Hair Day Mysteries?
Also, while you’re here, check out our March contest. It runs from March 1-18. One lucky winner gets to select a book from the prize vault. Here’s the link:Â https://bookloversbench.com/contests/Â Â
Visit Nancy’s website
Posted in 2-Nancy J. Cohen, Let's Talk, with Nancy J. Cohen • Tags: A Time of Change, Let's Talk, Nancy J Cohen | 17 Comments
So sorry you’re having a stressful time. I’ve been there and it’s important to keep a toe in the writing pond, but only enough to keep your writing muscles in tone. I turned to writing blog posts and responding to social media comments. Change is inevitable, but disappointing when you were planning a different future.
Thanks for the suggestions. I am barely keeping up with emails and that’s about all I can do online. We are still in crisis mode.
When we have multiple disruptions we go into triage mode for survival. You have to do certain things and let the rest slide. I’ve been there before, and it chaffed to let anything slide. Hang on. Things will get better! …And I really love your new cover. It’s bright and attractive. Well done!
Things will get better eventually if I survive that long. I like this cover, too. It’s very festive.
Sending you many good thoughts for your husband’s recovery and for you as you support him. I’m also a member of the club no one wants to join, and for me, writing is an escape and often a lifeline. I can’t control much in my world, but I can control what happens on the page. As you recover from the initial shock, you may find comfort in writing, even — maybe especially — just for the sake of the process. Remember to take care of yourself, too.
Thanks Kathleen. I don’t have any time right now for even thinking about writing.
Prayers for Richard’s return to health…please give him my best wishes. The writing and the mojo will be there when you are again ready for it. Creativity never leaves, it simply goes dormant in times when your mental and physical energy is needed elsewhere. So hang in there!
Thanks, Diane. I know I’ll get back to writing eventually. Just not until this crisis is resolved.
Nancy, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this. I hope things begin to get easier for you and life returns to normal eventually. It’s so important that you take care of yourself. Make sure you find a way to get some “me” time. You need it for both you and Richard. Write when you can. It can be a wonderful escape. Maybe just keep a journal for now.
Good idea with the journal but I don’t have the time or energy. I am going from one task to the next and also am not sleeping well so that drains the creativity.
My wife Kathy fell while we were on a walk in June. We’d gone over three miles and were in the last quarter mile when the tip of her shoe hit a rise in the pavement and she went face down. It was a very difficult recovery, and she’s still not back to where she was. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to learn to live with a ‘new normal.’ What an awful expression, especially when the new normal isn’t what we wanted. Take care and just know that you have more strength than you realize. Best wishes for your mutual recoveries!
Sorry to hear this, Terry. Falls are so hazardous. I hope your wife continues to recover and that you both find peace.
Nancy, been there, done that. (Husband took an ambulance ride and spent a month in the hospital. I was there with him the entire time, and caregiver for many months after he was released.)
Writing will absolutely wait. Yes, it is a refuge, a comfort, an escape – for SOME people. Right now it seems like – for YOU – it feels like one more duty, one more obligation, that adds to the pressure rather than offering a respite. I know it was for me. If that’s the case, put it down, this is a burden you absolutely do NOT have to carry right now. It will be there when you get back. I promise.
However, it is necessary that you find a way to give yourself a break from caretaking. Get help for an hour or two if he can’t be left alone, and go for a walk, or a drive, read a book, go to the gym and soak in the spa or sauna, take yourself out for pie and coffee – anything that gives you some time to yourself. You won’t be any good for either of you if you’re burned out.
One thing I discovered was that trauma and grief can be delayed, we can push through anything – for a while. But delayed means just that, and it will all come back at some point. Allow yourself time and be gentle with yourself while you’re working through this, AND in the time afterward when you’re dealing with all the exhaustion (physical, mental, and emotional) that’s been delayed.
I sent an email update each night to a list of friends rather than trying to text or chat or email with each individual. I only had so much bandwidth. Some nights it was only a couple sentences, but it was a way of processing each day. Nothing as “real” as a journal, just meeting my daily required info dump for far-flung friends and family. It helped, most days.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Christina. It does seem overwhelming right now getting the house properly set up for safety issues, ordering medical equipment, keeping up with household repairs, etc. I have full-time aides but even then there’s so much to do combined with lack of sleep. I hope things are better for you now.
Sending prayers. So many of my authors friends have faced similar situation in the last two years. It is hard to imagine walkng through this hard time beside you but I send best thoughts for his strong recover and for your mental and emotional well being.
We will read when you world lets you write.
Thank you, Jeanie. Your support means a lot to me.
So sorry to hear about Richard’s fall. It’s very stressful for him and for the caregiver. It seems that you are doing the right thing to deal with the pressure of what you are going through: continuing to do what you have done here on Booklover’s Bench and keeping in touch. I will check into the contest! Great idea. In the meantime Karyn and I will keep you both in our thoughts and prayers.