Let's Talk with Maggie Toussaint
Of Milestones and Millstones
December 11, 2025
We are wonderfully unencumbered when we’re born. There is no sense of responsibility, no worry about letting people down, or even concern about doing our part. Those things come later.
When I was a teen, many in my class wanted to get as far away from their parents as possible after graduation. But somewhere along the line, we began to yearn for that sanctuary of hearth and home, of that place where we are our best person.
So we entered the “rat race.” We worked harder, multi-tasked, tried to be the best at everything we did, until, for some of us, we became frazzled.
Bottom line, the millstones (burdens) of life bear us down. The milestones of time, if we’re lucky, come with increasing frequency, reminding us that our time on this side of the dirt is short.
The reason for this topic is that the holiday season can be a microcosm of milestones and millstones. We dart here and there trying to get everything done. If we are writers, we also have to meet publishing deadlines, have signings, or schedule appearances to add to our already bowed shoulders with extra holiday gatherings.
I’m challenging you to remember to take moments of bliss. It’s unrealistic to think we could get away to spas or retreats every time we need them. So, instead, take timeouts each day to focus on something in nature. Perhaps it’s the way a branch moves in the wind, the happy song of a bird, the shape of clouds, the sparkle of snow (or sand!) in our driveways. Or maybe it’s a child’s smile when you say yes to reading a book to them tonight. Or even sipping that cup of decaf tea when the house is silent for the night.
Self-care is something to be mindful of as we hit more of those aging milestones. I hit one recently. Sometimes I don’t recognize the face I see in the mirror – so much mileage on it – but it is mileage I put on there to reach the grand age I am now. Don’t get me wrong, it would be weird if I had a 20-year-old face or hair. I am content with who I am and what I look like.
I tell myself it’s easy to slow down in my country lifestyle, and that’s true, if I could stop raising my hand for extra responsibilities. Somehow, some way, I need to find that perfect “life speed” in between a walk and a frenzied gallop.
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Posted in Let's Talk, with Maggie Toussaint • Tags: Maggie Toussaint, Of Milestones and Millstones, Valona Jones | 27 Comments
Stillness evades me except for a little reading time before bed.
I understand. If you are aware that something is stressing you out and are in a place where you can listen to music for 2-3 minutes, I recommend listening to something soothing. For me that’s yoga music / spa music.. Here’s a link to a musician (Dean Evenson) I often use for my yoga classeses. To listen with your entire body, close your eyes and listen. Deepen and slow your breathing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbW7UHDmUE8&list=PL-M5hAsxfIB5bDkDpwT0Y4WemE37l5dVU&index=4
Hi Maggie! This is such a busy time of the year, but I keep my calm by working on wooden puzzles. It gives me a break in the middle of the madness—happy, happy Holidays.
Very nice, Cheryl! I’m glad you found something that works for you.
I’m with Debra. Stillness evades me, as well. I’ve always found it hard to shut down my mind and just “be in the moment.” I guess that’s why I never could get into yoga or meditation.
I used to think that way too, Lois. But I found a way to let it work for me. I don’t have to meditate the whole time in yoga; instead I have a mindset that I am open to it. If I’m not trying to force it, it grows organically and happens. I can’t explain it any better. My daughter says that what happens in yoga is “quantum entanglement”. That’s when the energy and spirits of people mingle and yield a wonderful relaxed sensation.
As a unpaid caregiver for both of my parents I try to find stillness in the Afternoon for myself
Hi Crystal, I admire you for taking on that caretaker role. It is one I have had before and likely will have again, but I admit it is draining on several levels. It’s good that you found how to recharge your spiritual energy with stillness in the afternoons. Taking care of yourself helps you do everything else!
I try to do a morning invocation and guided meditation each day to start out with a peaceful, still frame of mind…. I also do take time toward the end of the day to do brain exercises/games and then read. 😁
It is wonderful, Maria, that you have something in place which refreshes you and soothes your inner self.
Take time out for yourself by resting or doing something you like. For me it’s listening to Christmas music or watching a Christmas movie while putting a puzzle together. Reading is another way to destress.
Those are great, Christa!
My favourite way of having time out these days is going for walks with my husband and our guide dog puppy. We go out first thing in the morning, which gets the day off to a good start. If I’m having a stressful day and need space, sometimes I’ll go on an afternoon walk as well. Being out in the fresh air and in the company of a joyful puppy who lives in the moment is good for the soul.
Those walks sound wonderful!
I just got back from a cruise, which is ultimate relaxation. I’ve finished gift shopping and most of my wrapping. Now it’s just planning food contributions to upcoming social events. Otherwise, I’m still trying to catch up on mail and prepare for upcoming book promos.
You sound relaxed, organized, and way more on top of things than I am!
Reading of an evening in my bed and watching Christmas movies
Those are awesome. I always enjoy the Hallmark Christmas shows.
The evening is when I try to find time. I am a night owl and when other members of the family are in bed, you can find my reading and relaxing in recliner with a drink in my cupholder. This the time I recharge myself.
I love how you naturally carved that time out for yourself, Cherie! With such a natural fit into your schedule you are more likely to stick to it.
I make sure to take time every day to spend time with my cats, especially when they want to sit on my lap. They have a way of making me calm down and also get in some reading time. Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄
There’s nothing quite like a warm kitty purring contentedly in your lap! Your cats must be very polite. My sister’s cat would lay in my lap and bat at whatever I was trying to do until I gave her a massage. That was relaxing for both of us.
Going for a walk.
Walking helps the body and the soul, and having a little sunshine on the face gets you a daily dose of vitamin D. You have this nailed, Diana!
Even though I am retired it can be very busy at Christmastime. I try to take a little while each day to do a jigsaw puzzle or color while listing to Christmas music. I also try to read for at least 30 min. in the evening when it is quiet.
Good ways to relax and be still, Helen! Thanks for dropping by.
MY WINNER IS DIANA HARDT. CONGRATULATIONS, DIANA.